It’s 5 pm on a Friday, and I’m packing up my things to leave the office. As I’m heading out, my coworker turns to me and asks, “So, what are you doing after work?”
A seemingly innocent question, but one that can carry different implications depending on who’s asking and the context. Am I being invited to join in on after-work drinks? Are they just making small talk? Or are they subtly hinting at the expectation of working overtime?
When it comes to this question, the line between professional and personal can sometimes blur.
If it’s my boss asking, I’ll assume it’s related to work commitments. But if it’s a friend or close colleague, they’re likely just curious about my evening plans.
The intent behind the question matters – are they looking to make plans together, or are they simply making conversation?
General Tips for Answering
Regardless of the situation, honesty is usually the best policy. However, that doesn’t mean you have to divulge every detail. It’s important to gauge the situation and the person asking, and tailor your response accordingly.
With colleagues or acquaintances, it’s often best to keep things brief and avoid oversharing personal details.
Sample Responses in Professional Context
Keeping it Neutral
- “I’m heading home to relax a bit. How about you?”
This is a safe, neutral response that doesn’t reveal too much about your personal life while still being friendly and making conversation. - “Just catching up on some reading and winding down.”
This implies you have a relaxing, low-key evening planned without work or major obligations. It’s vague but reasonable.
Implying Productivity
- “I’ve got a few errands to run and then maybe some light work.”
This shows you’re dedicated by getting personal tasks out of the way so you can focus on more work later. It’s still maintaining boundaries.
- “I’m planning to hit the gym and then prepare for tomorrow.”
Not only are you taking care of yourself physically, but you’re also implying you’ll be readying yourself for another productive day at work.
Networking Opportunity
- “I’m attending a networking event. Would you like to join?”
This opens the door for the other person to join you in furthering professional goals outside the office.
- “I’m meeting a few colleagues for a quick brainstorming session.”
You’re going the extra mile to collaborate, showing your commitment to teamwork.
Personal Context
Social Plans
- “I’m meeting some friends for dinner.”
You have an active social life outside of work that’s important to you.
- 2. “I’m going to a movie with my partner.”
This implies you’re in a committed relationship and make time for your significant other.
Family Time
- “Spending some quality time with my family.”
Your family is a priority, and you value work-life balance. - “I’m taking my kids to their sports practice.”
You’re an involved, dedicated parent who supports their kids’ activities.
Flirty Responses
- “I don’t have any plans yet. Did you have something in mind?”
This leaves an opening for them to potentially suggest doing something together in a flirtatious way. - “Hopefully nothing too wild…unless you’re asking me out?”
This puts the flirtatious ball in their court in a lighthearted, playful way. - “I’m free as a bird! Maybe you’d like to grab a drink later?”
This is a direct way to flirt and suggest spending one-on-one time together.
Personal Projects
- “Working on a personal project/hobby.”
You have creative outlets and skills you’re developing outside of work. - “Doing some DIY at home.”
You’re handy and productive, working on improving your living space.
Relaxation
- “Planning to binge-watch a new series.”
You enjoy downtime and have an activity that allows you to fully unwind. - “I’m going to relax with a good book.”
Reading is a passion of yours, and you prioritize relaxation.
How to Respond When You Don’t Want to Share
Polite Deflection
- “Nothing much, just the usual. You?”
This doesn’t reveal any specifics while still being friendly and continuing the conversation. - “I don’t have any special plans. What about you?”
You’re making it clear your evening will be low-key without giving details.
Vague but Friendly
- “Just unwinding a bit. You?”
You acknowledge you have relaxing plans without going into detail. - “A bit of this and that. How about yourself?”
This is nonchalant about your plans while showing you’re open to hearing about theirs.
What to Avoid
While honesty is generally the best policy, there are times when it’s better to be discreet. Oversharing personal details, especially in a professional setting, can be inappropriate and make others uncomfortable.
Similarly, negative or complaining responses about your after-work plans can cast a damper on the conversation.
And, of course, lying should be avoided whenever possible. Not only is it unethical, but it can also lead to awkward situations if the truth comes out later.
Conclusion
The way you respond to “What are you doing after work?” can say a lot about your boundaries, priorities, and relationships. By understanding the context and tailoring your response accordingly, you can navigate this common question with tact and professionalism, while still maintaining a healthy work-life balance.
It’s important to respect personal boundaries and not pry too deeply into someone’s after-work plans unless they’re willingly sharing that information. A simple, “Nothing too exciting, just enjoying some downtime,” can go a long way in maintaining a positive and respectful work environment.
The key things to keep in mind are being honest while maintaining appropriate boundaries, reading social cues, and tailoring your response to the person and setting. With practice, you can navigate this common question smoothly.
