Turn on the TV, browse social media or Reddit. Walk down a busy street in any city, and one thing becomes crystal clear – we live in an increasingly judgemental society where appearances often take precedence over qualities that really matter like kindness, humility and honesty.
I recall once seeing a tweet that read, “Body shaming isn’t nice. Just because I’m skinny doesn’t mean I’m starved and just because you’re on the heavier side doesn’t mean you’re unhealthy.” It really got me thinking. People are pretty audacious these days; utterly unashamed of hurling rude comments at each other with no consideration of harm inflicted. Quite strangely though, a handful of us began considering such sharp-edged comments almost like some long-lost art form – especially when directed at our physical appearances.
But why are people malicious about others’ looks? Is it jealousy masked as concern? Is it a deep-seated displeasure with their own body image? Or maybe an innate need to pull someone else down to distract from their issues? Whatever it may be, let me unequivocally affirm my belief: every type of body shaming is just darn wrong.
That being said, if someone hits you with an unexpected slap of rudeness about your slender look, being prepared with a quick-witted response might armor well against invading negativity. Following several discussions in popular comedic chat groups inspired by styles humorously adopted by Louis CK among many others, I’ve compiled hearty comebacks that say cheekily – “Yes, I don’t need your minuscular opinion skewing my self-image”. Oncoming are some absolutely savage responses featuring prominently for you. Enjoy and remember – don’t forget to smile as you retort. Lesson taught best served hot!
Sarcastic Replies to “You Are So Skinny” Comment
1. “Bless your heart, forget about my weight. What are you doing for that face of yours?”
– This indicates the speaker is more concerned over the offender’s unattractiveness than his own slimness.
2. “Oh, what’s wrong? My lunch didn’t go to your thighs?”
– A humorous suggestion that their meals somehow add to the offender’s weight.
3. “At least I can see my toes when I look down.”
– This implies the offender is so overweight they can’t see past their belly.
4. “Well, I prefer lightweight to heavyweight.”
– Here, the character claims they enjoy being lean rather than plump.
5. “Maybe if you closed your mouth more often, we’d both be skinny.”
– Implies that the offender talks too much and also consumes too much food.
6. “If self-deprecation were an Olympic sport, would you be so heavy with gold?”
– Says that the offender’s negative self-image is visible in how they judge others and also impacts their own wellbeing forcefully.
7. “I bet the last time you saw 120 on the scales it was followed by ‘Kgs,’ right?”
– Suggests heavily that the person is quite obese.
8. “Are fatty foods so comforting because nobody else is?”
– Implies that the offender finds emotional comfort in eating because no one gives them any comfort.
9. “I’d have eaten more but it looked like you needed it more.”
– Suggests the offender’s heavy eating diverts from his/her attention their mistreatment of others.
10 “‘Stay fit’ isn’t spelled F.A.T. FYI.”
-The character notes a skew between fitness and excessive weight flippantly while using modern chat terminology for added sass.
11. “I guess copying and pasting your body type – one donut at a time – didn’t work for me.”
-It means actions portray desperation to associate with the receiver’s physical status via indulgence in unhealthy foods.
12. “Out of curiosity, do airlines charge you extra for all your emotional baggage?”
– It implies that being overweight makes the offender compensate on flights due to the emotional turmoil they carry.
13. “I run from drama faster than you run to a buffet table.”
– Suggests that the character avoids tension quicker than the offender hurries to over-consume food.
14. “Please won’t you rub off some of your Continental Breakfast perfume on me.”
– Archly teases the offender’s overindulgent love for food and how it symbolically emits from them.
15. “May calories newly bond with you tonight and light up overall circumference in our friendship.”
– Comment portrays new calories finding a happy place in increasing body size just like mutual friendships should prosper naturally.
16. “Tell me how it feels like – having keyboards sweat under your fingertips?”
– This cynically teases if their heavy typing struggles on keys due to presumably overweight fingers too.
17. “‘Stress Eating’ added three new whales to its poster design since I last saw it.”
– A cheeky wave at escalating moments of stress eating contributing largely to burgeoning obesity figures.
18. “Keep pouring emotions down the food chute darling, every pound will congratulate you louder.”
– Sarcasm flags more one adds emotional turmoil into escalating pounds generously that show quick increases.
19. “Darling, when aiming for being store mannequin-like, leave them out of life-sized Russian dolls referential outlook.”
– Cleverly states people seeing self-skinniness emulating a mannequin but not a hugely sized Russian doll like object compulsorily.
20. “My goodness, where did all these talentless cupcake-bakers spring from today. Good job on your recent order, my friend.”
– Witty play accuses expanding waistlines indicating the rise of formless baking trials loved by such people.
